Madre, esposa y àngel
by whatever2k16
Summary: Raphael visits his mothers grave and Simon follows him, only to find out about how much Raphael really loved Guadalupe. Mainly Raphael-centric but with Saphael too.
This **is my first attempt at writing a real story and I hope u like it!**

 **(Tallit: jewish prayer shawl)**

 **Yes, I used the reference Magnus made about them being bonbons delivered to his door (from Saving Raphael Santiago)**

 **disclaimer: I don't own shadowhunters or any of the characters.**

Raphael visits his Mothers grave and Simon follows him

"Good Morning, sunshine!", Simon calls out as he enters the main room with a slightly annoyed Raphael sitting on one of the golden couches. He rolls his eyes, "okay, first of all, it's night", he says. Simon sits down next to him, "and what's second?" he asks.

"Please, leave me alone, this is a day I'd rather not be annoyed by your dumb and unnecessary movie references about some bat dude fighting another one and I also don't wanna hear you sing any of those annoying songs, so just", Raphael points to the door with his left hand, while holding the golden cross he's wearing around his neck in his right.

Simon stared at it. "How is it possible for you to even.. wear that? Shouldn't you like burn? One time I tried holding my Tallit and my fingers literally started boiling", Simon explained, once again not listening to what Raphael told him. Raphael sighs, "It's a long story, and I'd rather not get into it".

Simon frowned, watching as Raphaels iron façade slowly started to crumble. "Seriously, Raphael, you know you can talk to me, just tell me", Simon assured the other vampire.

Raphael got up, turning his back to Simon, sighing he said "The person that was most sacred to me, passed away on this day", he walked over to the bar, poured himself a drink, "it was many years ago...but it seems as if in eternity, sometimes many years pass as fast as days off of work", he turned around, his eyes glassy, "and yes I used to work".

Simon got up and was in front of Raphael in less than a second, "You are crying Raphael", he reached out to wipe away the red tear on Raphaels cheek but he backed away. "I need to go now, fledgling, try not to disturb me, and do..whatever you were about to do", Raphael left the room in a second, leaving Simon standing alone. Simon took a sip of the drink the other poured.

Raphael was in his room, staring into the mirror. He was holding the cross Guadalupe gave him on the day he and his friends went to the Hotel to fight the evil vampire, who used to kidnap and kill little boys in his neighbourhood. The day he was turned. The day he almost killed himself.

Oh, how his mother didn't want him to leave. "But we have to get rid of the vampire, mama, we have to protect our families", he told her, she shook her head. "Mi hijo", she said, searching something in one of the drawers of her nightstand, "at least take this with you, and promise me to wear it", she demanded. "I promise", Raphael said, reaching out for the necklace, "te amo", he said while leaving.

Oh, how naive had he and his friends been to think that them, a group of mundane teenagers could defeat a vampire like Louis Karnstein. To him they were like bonbons delivered to his front door.

Yes, Raphael did kill him, but AFTER he had been turned, AFTER all of his friends died and AFTER he became what he and his mother despised most.

He decided, staying in the hotel wouldn't help with his grief, the other vampires would annoy him and God forbid, someone would see him cry.

He got dressed and was about to leave as someone knocked on his door. Knowing exactly who it was he didn't even bother opening the door. "Raphael, I know you're there, I'm not stupid, open up", Simon called out from the other side of the door. Raphael thought it would be best to wait in the room, until the fledgling left. "Hello..it's me", Simon started singing, "I've been wondering if you would open up the door". Raphel rolled his eyes and smiled a little. Even in times like these, Simon could get the last bit of happiness out of him. But still, he can't stay in the hotel this night, so he will probably go visit his mothers grave, that is if he can bear it. "Alright, Raph, So I guess I'll leave", Simon sighed while walking off. Raphael waited a few minutes to make sure he was really gone then he opened the door to leave. Simon was standing in front of him with a pleased expression on his face, "Seriously?" he asked, "you didn't see this coming?". Raphael rolled his eyes, "Get out of my way, you don't wanna mess with me today", he replied walking past Simon towards the Exit.

Simon ran after him, trying to catch up with the clan leader. "Raphael just tell me what's going on, where are you going, you almost never leave the hotel", Simon caught his arm and turned Raphael to face him. The other jerked his arm away and hissed, "I'm gonna go visit someone, and you're gonna stay here fledgling", he turned around and left. Simon gulped, sensing this must be importand to Raphael so he will just leave him be. "Give him time to cool down Lewis, he's not in a good mood", Simon told himself, he sighed "screw it, he never is in a good mood", he whispered while walking out of the door after Raphael.

Raphael entered the big gate, decorated with an angel holding flowers and pointing them towards heaven. He walked between all of the tombstones and crosses sticking out of the earth. Most of the graves were decorated with flowers and angels. Candles were still lit and different religious symbols caught his eye. A cross here, a half moon there. Suddenly there was a tombstone with an engraved star of david and Raphael had to think of Simon. He remembered Simons rebirth. How painful it was, watching him calling himself a monster. Raphael was glad Simon has come to terms with his new self and he was glad he told him to stick around, cause eventually he did. As he forgot how far he already walked, Raphael realized he reached the end of the cemetery and the last row of graves. He turned right and counted three. There it was. Guadalupe Santiago. madre, esposa y ángel. Raphael started crying again, knowing nobody was there, he let everything out. "Mama, I miss you so much", he started, putting the bouquet of roses on her grave. He bought them on his way here, his mother loved the color, it was a light rose, like salmon, she used to decorate the whole living room with these roses. It was a happy color, reminded him of all the good things that happened in that living room, of his brothers and his friends. "I know you love this color mama", he wiped away a tear, "I remember when I bought you that dress, you said it's your favorite color and you loved it so much you cooked my favorite food the whole week", he smiled, "I don't even remember how it tastes anymore". Raphael stroked the cross on his necklace. "Lo siento, mama, I became what you despised, and I can't change it. All I can do is pray for you to be in a better place. Te amo, mama, Que Dios te proteja.. amén". Raphael sat there, deep in his thoughts, when all of a sudden someone coughed behind him. He turned around fast and saw Simon trying to hide behind a tombstone. "You might be a vampire, but you're still as stupid as a mundane, idiota!", Raphael called out, "didn't I tell you to stay away?", Raphael stopped when he saw that Simon was crying. He stepped forward, "Are you alright Simon? Are you hurt?", he was checking for any indications that Simon might've been in some Shadowhunter accident again but he seemed to be fine. "No", Simon shook his head, "it was just.. I saw you there, talking to your mother and..I..it was beautiful". Raphael looked to the ground, "How can one find the sorrow and grief someone feels beautiful?". Simon looked hurt, "That's not what I meant", he said, "it's beautiful cause you care so much for her. You always say you don't have a soul, but someone with no soul could never love someone as much as you love her". Raphael sat back down in front of his mothers grave and tapped on the ground next to him. Simon sat down. "I just don't know who I am without her, I see myself, I'm the good loking vampire clan leader and a lot of people envy me but, they don't know how it really feels like to be me", Raphael explained and Simon nodded. "She would've been proud Raph", he said. Raphael smiled and picked up one of the roses, handing it to Simon, "To the beginning of something new", he said. Simon smiled and took Raphaels hand in his, "I will always be here for you, you know that right?", Raphael nodded and Simon continued, "You had me at 'stick around'".

They started walking back as the sun would be up soon. Raphael remember something, "Oh, I have something else for you", he said while reaching in his pocket. He took out a golden necklace, similar to the one he was wearing, but instead of a cross it had the star of david on it. Simon flinched, "you know I can't be near that?", he asked. Raphael smirked, "Training starts tomorrow", he stated while putting the necklace back in his pocket.

 **I hope u all liked it! you can follow my shadowhunters/saphael tumblr raphaelownsme**

 **Love y'all!**


End file.
